Another day, and I’m once again — job hunting: slow-going, confusing, overwhelming and confidence-slashing.
This morning I started off with productive intentions. I searched news sites and Twitter feeds for articles pertinent to my fanciful job ideas. Then I treated myself to just a peek at Facebook where I saw a local Jcrewville mother posting about moving her blog to a new host site. I barely know her, even though we’re technically friends (and I mean that literally). So I got right to stalking.
After getting 404’ed multiple times, I did find her Twitter feed, which led me to contemplate following her, which led me to re-visiting my own profile, which led me to re-designing it, which led me to losing two hours of job hunting in lieu of a slightly prettier profile background. And because I’m so research-inclined, I went back to her tweets, comparing them to my tweets (or lack thereof) in order to discern her social media prowess versus mine.
Wondering who won? Please, I don’t gossip.
Three hours later, I was no closer to drafting one (just one!) cover letter than I was yesterday.
But then yesterday, my daughter was puking, so I gave myself the day off to wipe puke off the walls, wash five hundred loads of laundry, and scrub doorknobs, remote controls, phones and faucet heads until my hands were raw. Somewhere around 4pm, I think I brushed my teeth (can’t confirm that 100%).
The whole time I kept asking myself, do I feel sick? Am I getting sick? So to ease my suspected illness, rattled nerves and enormous dose of self-pity, I ate everything white in the house: white bread, cold pasta, crackers, toasted bagels with cream cheese and vanilla ice cream.
Now today, I’m not only behind on things, I’m bloated. My black stirrup jeans (yes, you heard that right) are tighter than appropriate –if stirrup jeans were ever meant to be appropriate after 1985.
This afternoon I forced myself to go the library where computer time is limited to 60 minutes. It’s quiet here and there’s no fridge to taunt me with cold, simple carbohydrates.
I am finding the folks around me highly distracting, however. I think the guy next to me has a tick. He keeps gesturing at the screen every (and I’m counting here) 20- seconds as though jabbing an imaginary friend with a “what the hell?” Oh, and he’s scribbling non-sensical (and I’m glancing here) tally marks on a napkin in between gesturing and typing. He’s wasting my time, and after much effort to ignore him, I only have 10 minutes…
…and three hours to come up with today’s answer to my husband’s daily question (which he still does, despite my pretending I didn’t hear him): “Soooo, what did you do today?”
And that’s the sad truth here. Meanwhile, what did you do today?