Narcissism, Neuroses, Etc.

tin soldiers 003

Would you like to hear
Of the terrible night
When I bravely fought the —
No?
all right.

– Shel Silverstein, The Battle

Lately I feel like I am drowning in my own narcissism. Me – starring in my own show about me! and what I buy at the grocery store, and what I read — and what I think about what I read. It’s pretty much, what I think about everything and it’s making me tired. I talk too much and write too much — about me(!). Blah, I can’t stand the sound of my own voice anymore.

One thing’s for sure: I need to pick up a newspaper. Isn’t there some scuffle going on in Washington over this thing called healthcare? Isn’t the ocean unusually warm? What are the folks in China up to? These are places where I need to park my brain. Maybe if I worry about the swine flu a little more, I might worry about my pre-teen daughter’s social life a little less.

I think there are two times a year when Jcrewville gets extra crazy. One is right before school gets out and everyone’s outdoing each other with parties, fundraisers and teacher’s gifts. The other is back-to-school time when moms who have been out of circulation for the summer get nutty trying to re-enter the social scene at the playground. At least that’s when I start getting all twisted-up and insecure.

I hate gossip and yet after months of isolation, I binge on it like raw cookie dough…until I’m sick and full of regret. Why, why do I do it?

So if you’re unfortunate enough to have clicked on this post and are bored, join the club. If you are feeling vulnerable because it’s that time of year when you need to put on lipstick and make cocktail-party chatter with other moms, you are not alone. And if you have any opinions on healthcare or the swine flu or news about you (!), please share.

In the meantime, I’m going to throw on my fleece and sit outside on this chilly afternoon. Or maybe I’ll brew a pot of coffee and bake some cookies.

(Yawn.)

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8 thoughts on “Narcissism, Neuroses, Etc.

  1. Now for more of MY secrets – yes, thats me, me, me! I don’t give a care (so much) what I look like and even less what others think. I stopped wearing make up about 5 years ago. I don’t know how I got here but I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. Watch those mid to late 40’s, good stuff goin’ on there!

    My skin might need a few more years to feel completely comfortable, but mid -to-late 40’s you say? Well there’s that to look forward to. And you sound like you don’t need a stitch of makeup if you are leaving your house wearing a smile (as in previous post comment).

  2. It does seem to me at times that blogging is the height of self-indulgence. Listen to ME. Look at ME. Tell ME what you think of ME….

    I never feel that way about anyone else’s blog, though. And especially not yours.

    Holy crap. I’m a self-absorbed nosey parker. How is that even possible?

    Oh, look. A comment from ME. ALL ABOUT ME.

    I need to shut up now.

    (Don’t you, EVER.)

    Noooo – don’t YOU ever…and hey, a comment is a comment – whether it’s about you, me or that dead bug over there, it counts (and with yours now, I count three!!! – see, all about me)

  3. If you regret playground drama and Allison regrets work drama, then I must regret internet drama. I binged like a crazy woman last week…so badly that I forgot to get all narcissistic on my own space and this week? I have a total internet hangover.

    I always say it’s only about improving my writing but truth? Lies somewhere between being a snooty above-it-all and loving to revel in the muck. Probably closer to the muck.

    Are you commenting somewhere that I need to see?

  4. I’m sorry, but I can’t stop focusing on the fact that you are getting to sit . . . in chilly weather . . . in fleece!! And, here I sit sweating in 90 degree weather — yuk!

    Sorry, there I go being all narcissistic and making it all about me! LOL

    PS Can you point me to the internet gossip coz sometimes it’s okay to be shallow like that, right?!!

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