An Unfashionable Report


While I would never say I was ever fashion-forward, I never thought it would get this bad.  I just got back from the grocery store when I realized I was still wearing my pajama top.  I did take the time to put a bra on, but then why did I put the pajama top back on over the bra? How did this happen?


It got me thinking – how far have I fallen? Let’s take a look:


The other day, I tried on an old maternity dress that didn’t sell at my garage sale.  I thought it looked kind of cute and seriously thought about wearing it.  I came to my senses long enough to change, but I confess the dress is still hanging in my closet (of course I’m not pregnant).


I have light blonde eyebrows so I have to pencil them in.  Once I walked around for an entire day with only one eyebrow drawn on before anyone said anything (it was 6pm before a close friend kindly commented).


Too many times (i.e more than once), I’ve realized that I forgot to brush my teeth – no biggie, just a full day of coffee drinking, hummus eating, and chatting in the faces of friends and strangers.


The other day I went running in a t-shirt that said “I Survived the Norridge Earthquake”.  Um, 1994?


Oh, my favorite: Once I was standing near my table at a restaurant when some woman came up and asked me to seat her and her three friends (“table for four” she kept saying over and over as I stood there looking dumbfounded).  Based soley on my outift, she thought I was the waitress. 


None of this includes my near daily habit of spilling food on myself, smearing deodorant on my shirts or the fact I always seem to forget that low rise jeans should not be worn with my granny undies from Cosco (not that I meant to buy granny undies of course, there was just some misunderstanding with the term “hipster” — note: hipster they are not).


I keep waiting to turn around and find Stacy and Clinton lurking behind me but with my luck, I’ll turn around and find an old boyfriend (while wearing my stained pajama top and one eyebrow).


So what happens now? I’ve done the first step. I admit it: I have a problem.  I’m staging my own intervention, starting my own support group. Everyone is welcome.  Come as you are.   



6 thoughts on “An Unfashionable Report

  1. I love it. Sounds familiar. Actually, I like it when my bangs
    grow long so I don’t have to worry about my eyebrows.

  2. LOL Is that a new pyjama top fashion line from JCrew perhaps?

    I also have a maternity dress hanging in my closet still — it’s very cute in a non-preggo way, but I’ve not had the guts to wear it. Maybe we should have an “it’s okay, go ahead and wear your old amternity clothes day?”

  3. I don’t know, I kind of think there is no such thing as a cute pajama top (JCrew or otherwise) when you’re in public…in the middle of the day…wearing one eyebrow…

    That said, I find PJs to be perfectly acceptable attire in the home/garden/yard/driveway/car anytime before 2pm or after 4pm.

    I also think wearing a maternity dress is like wearing a bridesmaid’s dress. Once the occassion ends, so should the dress – yes?

    Thank you ladies, this has been a good meeting.

  4. We used to live in the country and there were days when I wouldn’t get out of my PJs ’till 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Husband at work, kids too young to care and no neighbors close enough to notice. Now we live in a subdivision and I don’t even leave my bedroom in my night clothes. Too many people around and far too many windows. Oh, how I long for the days of hanging the wash out on the line while wearing my Hello Kitty nightgown!

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